First things first:
No, I don’t mean “Doritos.” I grew up American, I know how to spell goddamn Doritos. I know how to spell the name of most types of snacks plus multiple variations on the Cheese, Cheesier, Cheesiest rankings.
Duritos are the newest snack craze to hit my kitchen this weekend. This is my first time writing about food, so thank God I started out with such an amazing snack item.
The first thing you’ll notice if you’re ever buying Duritos, or more likely, trapped in a dungeon with only Duritos to live off of, is how light the bag is. It’s crammed with the orange-y wagon wheels, but the bag itself weighs about as much as a babys fingernail. It’s almost like the bag has some kind of anti-gravity machine inside. But why invent an anti-gravity machine when you’ve already perfected the perfect diarrhea machine?
Each wheel contains only the following ingredients: wheat flour, corn starch, lard, salt, and citric acid. Not to get too far off track, but I think we all have that goofy friend who says marijuana, or peyote, or some other fun drug is totally good for you because it comes from the earth. Normally I argue that it’s a ridiculous point because things that also come from the earth include arsenic, avalanches, and rhinos. But Duritos is my new ace in the hole.
The taste is less like a flavor and more like a level of pain. The salt and citrus hit my tongue and the best way I can describe it as is an acid-y pork rind. I finished one, then had to close the bag an put it away because the scent wafting out was making me nauseous. Now that’s a goddamn snack.
Got a favorite food you want reviewed? Seen something in the grocery store that seems like it’s not really meant to be eaten? Email me: peter@yuckytown.com and I’ll swoop in with a discerning, citrus-burned tongue.
Taste Test: Duritos
No, I don’t mean “Doritos.” I grew up American, I know how to spell goddamn Doritos. I know how to spell the name of most types of snacks plus multiple variations on the Cheese, Cheesier, Cheesiest rankings.
Duritos are the newest snack craze to hit my kitchen this weekend. This is my first time writing about food, so thank God I started out with such an amazing snack item.
The first thing you’ll notice if you’re ever buying Duritos, or more likely, trapped in a dungeon with only Duritos to live off of, is how light the bag is. It’s crammed with the orange-y wagon wheels, but the bag itself weighs about as much as a babys fingernail. It’s almost like the bag has some kind of anti-gravity machine inside. But why invent an anti-gravity machine when you’ve already perfected the perfect diarrhea machine?
Each wheel contains only the following ingredients: wheat flour, corn starch, lard, salt, and citric acid. Not to get too far off track, but I think we all have that goofy friend who says marijuana, or peyote, or some other fun drug is totally good for you because it comes from the earth. Normally I argue that it’s a ridiculous point because things that also come from the earth include arsenic, avalanches, and rhinos. But Duritos is my new ace in the hole.
Got a favorite food you want reviewed? Seen something in the grocery store that seems like it’s not really meant to be eaten? Email me: peter@yuckytown.com and I’ll swoop in with a discerning, citrus-burned tongue.